NAIROBI
It turns out the Heavens have finally diversified their portfolio into Nairobi’s lucrative real estate and urban planning sectors .
When the Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission (EACC) raided the Syokimau home of Nairobi County’s Chief Officer for Urban Planning, they expected to find standard, boring evidence of institutional graft .
Instead, they stumbled upon a modern-day biblical manifestation: KSh 65.3 million stashed in travel suitcases, sitting right beneath a beautiful, gold-embossed piece of home decor proudly proclaiming: “GOD DID IT”
Clearly, ordinary citizens have been praying wrong.
While the rest of the country is pleading for basic healthcare, rain, or a way to survive the high cost of living, top county officials have successfully lobbied Heaven for a specialized “Urban Planning and Tender Blessing.”
It is a beautiful theological breakthrough.
True blessings are no longer delivered in abstract concepts like peace of mind; they are delivered directly to your living room floor in neat bricks of KSh 1,000 notes.
Evidently, the Almighty took some time out of His busy schedule to help package and transport physical fiat currency past standard banking audit systems.
Why explain your assets to detectives when you can just point to the wall and tell them, “Take it up with Management upstairs”?
